Surrogacy can feel like a big, beautiful mystery. Honest questions make stronger connections, and clearer choices.
So let’s crack open six questions we hear often. Some from Intended Parents (IPs), some from Surrogates.
For Intended Parents
“Why would someone want to have a baby for me?”
It’s a big question. And the answer might surprise you.
Surrogates don’t step into this journey lightly. They do it with big hearts and clear heads. Often, they’ve completed their own families and are deeply motivated to help others experience the joy of parenthood. Some call it a calling. Others describe it as a “legacy of love.”
One surrogate shared:
“My family is complete. I had beautiful pregnancies, and I want to give someone else the chance to feel what I feel when I look at my kids. That’s it.”
It’s not about money or recognition. It’s about meaning.
“Why would someone be a surrogate, without getting paid?”
In Australia, altruistic surrogacy is the only legal path. There is no bag of money left behind a tree. Surrogates can’t be paid for carrying a baby, but their reasonable pregnancy-related expenses can be reimbursed.
So, what’s in it for them? Connection. Purpose. Empathy.
As one surrogate put it:
“It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And the most rewarding.”
Surrogates often say they want to “do something extraordinary” or “pay forward the joy.” And when the match is right, the experience can be life-changing on both sides.
Another surrogate said:
“I had my kids with the help of a sperm donor, I know what it’s like to need someone else to make your family possible. Being a surrogate was my way of paying that forward.”
“What if she steals the baby?”
This fear comes from a protective place, and we get it. But legally and emotionally, surrogacy in Australia is designed to prevent this.
The woman who gives birth is the legal mother at birth, yes—but the whole point of the surrogacy agreement is that the baby is raised by you. Post-birth, a legal process called a Parentage Order transfers full parental rights to you as the Intended Parents.
And here’s the thing:
Surrogates don’t want to keep the baby. They want to give you the gift of becoming a parent. In fact, the most common worry surrogates have is the opposite—what if they’re left holding a baby they didn’t plan to parent?
Let’s talk about that.
For Surrogates
“What if I’m left with the baby?”
This one is real, and important but extremely unlikely.
Surrogacy in Australia has legal guardrails to protect both parties. You don’t just carry a baby for a stranger. You form a bond. You talk through every “what if” with a counselor, a lawyer, and the IPs themselves before going ahead.
And here’s something you should know: most Intended Parents who arrive at surrogacy? This isn’t step one for them—it’s often the very last resort. They’ve been through years of heartbreak, fertility treatments, or adoption attempts. They’ve had time to process, prepare, and grieve the paths that didn’t work. By the time they’re here, they’re all in. They’ve imagined holding their little one for years by this point.
“Will this baby be loved?”
Yes. Fiercely.
Intended Parents who come to surrogacy don’t do so on a whim. They've often climbed mountains, medically, emotionally, financially, just to get to the starting line.
This baby is dreamed of, yearned for, and loved before they even exist.
One IP shared:
“We will love this child with every fibre of our being. Because we already do.”
“Will I be left in the lurch with expenses?”
Not with good communication, and, of course the law is on your side too.
Altruistic surrogacy covers reasonable expenses. That means things like maternity clothes, vitamins, travel to medical appointments, and even childcare for your own kids while you’re at appointments.
We’ve created an example spreadsheet to help IPs and surrogates agree on a plan in advance, so nothing’s fuzzy or awkward later. Because generosity should never come at a cost to your family’s wellbeing.
