Whether you're a surrogate, an intended parent, or part of someone’s support circle, this journey can stir up everything from deep hope to difficult questions. Counselling helps everyone pause, reflect, and move forward with certainty.
Why Counselling Matters
In many Australian states, counselling is a legal requirement before starting surrogacy. But even where it’s not, it’s still one of the most useful steps you can take.
Good counselling:
- Helps everyone surface expectations, hopes, and concerns
- Supports difficult conversations in a safe, structured setting
- Builds a stronger, more trusting relationship between surrogate and intended parents
It’s not therapy. It’s a calm, practical way to prepare for what’s ahead — emotionally, logistically, and relationally.
When Counselling Happens
There are usually two phases of counselling in surrogacy:
1. Before conception or signing a formal agreement
This is the stage where most of the legal and medical preparation happens — and where counselling is required in most states. You’ll usually have:
- Individual sessions (surrogate + partner, and each intended parent)
- One or more joint sessions
- A written counselling report (in states where required)
2. After birth
Some states require post-birth counselling to support the legal process of transferring parentage. Even when it’s not mandatory, many teams choose to debrief together — particularly to check in on the surrogate’s wellbeing and agree on future contact.
What Counts as ‘Qualified’ Counselling?
In most states, surrogacy counselling must be:
- Delivered by a counsellor experienced in surrogacy or assisted reproduction
- Independent (not acting for either party)
- Conducted before any conception or medical treatment takes place
Thoroughly documented (some states require a formal counselling report)
How Many Sessions Are Required?
While it varies slightly by state and clinic, most journeys include:
| State/Territory | Pre-Birth Counselling | Post-Birth Counselling | Typical No. of Sessions | Counselling Report or Certificate Required |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| New South Wales (NSW) | ✅ Yes | ✅ Yes (for court) | 4–6 | ✅ Yes (written report) |
| Victoria (VIC) | ✅ Yes (via clinic) | 🟡 Recommended | 3–5 | ✅ Yes (clinic provides documentation) |
| Queensland (QLD) | ✅ Yes | 🟡 Recommended | 4–5 | ✅ Yes (Surrogacy Guidance Report) |
| South Australia (SA) | ✅ Yes | 🟡 Recommended | 3–4 | ✅ Yes |
| Western Australia (WA) | ✅ Yes | 🟡 Recommended | 3–5 | ✅ Yes |
| Tasmania (TAS) | ✅ Yes | 🟡 Recommended | 3–4 | ✅ Yes |
| Australian Capital Territory (ACT) | ✅ Yes (if using ART) | 🟡 Recommended | 3–4 | ✅ Yes |
| Northern Territory (NT) | ✅ Yes (required by law) | ✅ Yes (before parentage order) | 3–5 | ✅ Yes (certificate from counsellor) |
Which States Have Review Panels?
Some states include a formal review process before a surrogacy arrangement can proceed:
- Victoria: Requires approval from the Patient Review Panel before treatment can begin. They review the counselling and legal reports to ensure all parties understand the risks and responsibilities.
- Western Australia: Also has a Reproductive Technology Council that must approve surrogacy arrangements before treatment.
In other states, the process is usually managed by legal professionals, counsellors, and clinics — with a post-birth parentage order handled by the courts.
Counselling After Birth: Why It Still Matters
Surrogates may experience a mix of relief, pride, and emotional vulnerability post-birth. Intended parents, too, may face feelings of overwhelm or anxiety as they step into parenthood.
A good post-birth counselling session (or two) can help:
- Acknowledge the end of the journey
- Navigate changes in the relationship between the surrogate and IPs
- Prepare for future contact (or not), depending on what’s been agreed
How and Where to Find a Surrogacy Counsellor
Finding the right counsellor matters. You want someone with experience in surrogacy (not just general counselling), and who understands the legal requirements in your state.
Look for:
- Registration with ANZICA (Australian and New Zealand Infertility Counsellors Association)
- Experience with assisted reproduction and surrogacy
- Independence — they should be neutral, not acting on behalf of either party
Where to start:
- Ask your fertility clinic — most have a network of approved counsellors
- Visit ANZICA.org and use their Find a Counsellor tool
- Ask your surrogacy lawyer for referrals
- Reach out to Stoorky — we’re happy to connect you with trusted professionals in your area
Counselling can usually be done via telehealth if you're interstate or rural, and fees may be reimbursed as part of your surrogacy expenses.
Would you like help finding a qualified counsellor in your state? Contact us, or browse our trusted referrals and guides in the Stoorky Library.
